The Epic of Paul in Mormon Land

Paul went up to Mormon Land
to do business there with Mormon man;
But when shaking every Mormon hand,
he knew he was no Mormon fan.

And all those folks in Mormon Land
ran around in Utah's Mormon sand
in Mormon clothes and Mormon tan
saying, "Paul won't take a Mormon stand!"

One day a clever Mormon clan
worked out a crafty Mormon plan:
Next morning, this whole Mormon band
pulled up to Paul in their Mormon van!

They said, "You're an anti-Mormon man,
and your name is under Mormon ban!"
Paul said, "Listen, you morons of Mormon brand:
Jesus was never a Mormon fan!"

But then the startled Mormons ran
like only startled Mormons can
across the desert's Mormon sand
in Mormon clothes and Mormon tan!

Now Paul is back from Mormon Land,
the Mormon clan and the Mormon band.
When they came back, his truck outran
those Mormons in that Mormon van!

- Tarjei Straume, Phoenix 1978


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